Understanding Sexting: A Guide for Parents and Teens

Sexting refers to the exchange of sexually explicit messages, images, or videos through digital platforms such as text messaging, social media, or mobile apps. It specifically involves self-generated content shared by the sender.

While often perceived as private, sexting can carry serious consequences, particularly if the content is shared without consent.

Why Do Young People Sext?

Young people may engage in sexting for several reasons, including:

  • Peer Pressure: Feeling obligated to send explicit material when asked.
  • Romantic Relationships: Sharing intimate content with someone they’re dating or interested in. For some teens, sexting may be less scary than physical intimacy. Such messages help to overcome embarrassment, explore their body and sexuality.
  • Seeking Validation: Trying to appear attractive or desirable to others. The authors of the JSPR study note that, for all its seeming spontaneity, sexting gives participants the opportunity to carefully choose their words and present themselves in the best possible light in the photo. The ability to control what exactly a partner sees and the knowledge that the content excites them can give them confidence.
  • Believing It’s Normal: Thinking that “everyone else is doing it.”
  • Assumed Privacy: Believing the content will remain confidential between sender and recipient.
  • Coercion or Blackmail: Being forced or manipulated into sharing explicit content.

Research on Sexting Habits

New research from the Sexuality, Sexual Health & Sexual Behavior Lab at Texas Tech University Department of Psychological Sciences reveals that two-thirds of individuals who engage in sexting do so for reasons other than sex:

  • Some use sexting as a form of foreplay, anticipating sexual activity later.
  • Others sext to gain reassurance or affirmation from their partner about the relationship.
  • Some individuals send sexts as a favor, expecting a return gesture later in a non-sexual context, like a dinner date.

What Are the Risks and Consequences of Sexting?

Sexting can have severe and lasting consequences, including:

  • Loss of Privacy: Once content is sent, the sender no longer controls where it ends up.
  • Online Harassment: Shared explicit material can lead to bullying, blackmail, or exploitation.
  • Emotional Distress: Public humiliation can cause long-term psychological and emotional trauma.
  • Reputational Damage: Explicit content shared publicly can harm the sender’s reputation and relationships.
  • Legal Implications: Sharing explicit material, especially involving minors, can lead to criminal charges under child pornography laws.

Tips for Parents: How to Talk to Your Child About Sexting

Parents can play a critical role in educating their children about the dangers of sexting. Here’s how:

  • Start the Conversation Early: Discuss digital safety and boundaries in an age-appropriate way.
  • Explain the Risks: Make sure your child understands the potential legal, emotional, and social consequences.
  • Build Trust: Create an open, non-judgmental environment where they feel safe sharing concerns.
  • Monitor Online Behavior: Use parental controls and encourage responsible use of digital devices.
  • Lead by Example: Practice and demonstrate good digital habits. Teach your child to:
    • Carefully check who they send messages to.
    • Anonymize photos: avoid showing the face and unique features, and the background should not reveal the location.
    • Turn off location services in apps and activate a VPN.
    • Regularly delete sent messages and turn off automatic backups on the phone.
    • Ensure photos are not automatically saved to the cloud.
    • Use messengers with end-to-end encryption, such as WhatsApp, Telegram, or Signal. Enable two-factor authentication.
    • Avoid using public Wi-Fi networks.

Advice for Young People: What to Do If You’re Pressured to Sext

If you feel pressured to send explicit content, remember:

  • You’re Not Alone: Many people face similar situations, and it’s okay to say no.
  • Speak to Someone You Trust: Talk to a parent, teacher, or counselor if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe.
  • Block and Report: Use built-in platform tools to block and report anyone harassing or coercing you.
  • Know Your Worth: Your value is not determined by someone else’s opinion or demands.

Frequently Asked Questions

  • What should I do if someone shares my explicit content? Report the incident to the platform, speak with a trusted adult, and consider legal action.
  • How can I prevent my child from sexting? Have open conversations about online safety and educate them about the consequences.
  • Is sexting illegal? Sharing explicit material, particularly of minors, can lead to serious legal repercussions, even for minors themselves.